Wedding Planning isn’t easy! Sure, it’s exciting. There’s lots of fun tasks like finding the perfect wedding dress, deciding on gifts for your wedding party, cake tasting and attending parties in your honor. But, some days you feel like you’re being pulled in all directions. Some days it seems like everyone has an opinion and they share it with you. Your mother thinks you should wear your hair up to show your “pretty face”, your bridesmaids don’t like the dresses you picked out for them, and your parents want to invite your cousins instead of your co-workers. Some days you feel like you’re planning someone else’s wedding. On those days, you want to crawl back under the covers and dream about eloping! But, instead of running off to city hall, maybe it’s time you sat down and refocused?
So, how do you magically make all your wedding planning better? Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic bullet. The good news is that there are ways to plan for the wedding you want. Here’s our top tips for doing just that:
- Come up with a clear vision of what you both want. Schedule some alone time together with your partner. Go for coffee, dinner or a long walk and talk about what you both envision for your wedding. Be supportive and non-judgemental. Hash out what you both truly want. You may have to compromise, but eventually you’ll come up with a vision that you’re both happy with. When you’re in agreement, you’ll present a strong front to others.
- Prioritize the non-negotiables. Once you have a clear vision for your wedding, choose three things that are your ‘non-negotiables’. These are the three most important things that you are NOT willing to compromise on. Talk to your friends and family at the beginning. Let them know what these items are. If you have family contributing financially to your wedding, you may need to help redirect their efforts into other areas, or offer to pay for the item yourselves.
- Personalize. Why not customize your wedding ceremony and write your own vows? Nothing is more personal than the vows you will say to each other. What other ways can you make your wedding a reflection of yourselves? Maybe it means, skipping the cake and having a donut bar instead. Whatever it is, find ways to put the ‘you’ back into your day!
- Don’t take your wedding planning too seriously. There’s a lot of pressure for you to make everyone happy and to make this the “best day ever”, but keep in mind what the day is all about. If at the end of the day, you’ve married your best friend, mission accomplished.
- Embrace your friends and family’s help. This might seem counter-productive, but the point is to consider what your friends and family mean to you. Oftentimes, they are truly trying to help out. Maybe it really will take the pressure off you with one less thing to do? Keep your ‘non-negotiables’ in mind, but think about what you’re willing to compromise on. In the end, is is worth it to keep the peace? You might be pleasantly surprised. You’ll smile when you see how happy your bridesmaids are standing beside you, looking beautiful in their handpicked dresses. And, the memories of your mom, and grandmother, helping you out with your wedding favors might just turn out to be your fondest memories.
- Commit to Date Nights. Remember to take some time off from your double life as a wedding planner. Commit to some together time. Go out for dinner, go to a movie, or do whatever you enjoyed doing prior to the wedding planning craziness. And no talking about the wedding! Keep the romance going after your date night too. Tuck a love note under your partner’s pillow or call them up just to say you care. Focus on the what truly matters; the two of you!
- Lean on your friends. Wedding stress is real. It’s not necessarily something you feel every day, but you will undoubtedly experience some stress. Instead of keeping it all in, talk through it! Whether you lean on your partner, your girlfriends or your wedding planner, talking out your frustrations and hearing a fresh perspective can make all the difference. You’ll strengthen bonds and be happier in the end.
- Keep the big picture in mind and everything in perspective. We can’t say it enough.
Photo Credit: Sarah Vaughn Photography.